Holidays - The Good Bits

     This time of year is hard on us in many ways. To the regular stress of making a living and dealing with the challenges of life we add some sky-high expectations of peak experiences that  make Norman Rockwell look like a piker. What to eat, what to wear, who to give to, how much etc. We stress over eating and drinking too much. Dire warnings issue from newsrooms if we consumers don't get out there and bust through some target numbers to show that our economy is not going into the toilet. I can get caught up in that most durable of illusions that this product or that product will absolutely, positively make me happy -- until it doesn't. Gautama Buddha said the root of all our suffering is desire -- meaning craving, the illusion that we must have something to feel happy. Jesus spoke of the kind of treasure to have that doesn't decay. We forget such wisdom too easily. Many clients I've had over the years can't wait for the holidays to be over so they can go back to a more manageable level of stress and pressure.

     The best holiday celebrations I've ever experienced usually have involved people I love, in a setting that allows for some conversation, and often some rituals, religious or secular, that remind me of what we are actually celebrating. The final credits of the movie "Love, Actually" are enhanced by a flurry of  real airport reunions and homecomings, another great aspect of holidays -- people coming from far and near to connect with each other. Just catching up with each other is a great ritual -- to talk and to listen can be so healing in a life where anxious aloneness all too often feels like the norm.

     A Jewish friend reminded me recently that her best appreciation of Christmas came when she spent the season in Naples and Rome. Her experience was that the people of those great cities enjoyed family meals and some religious services as the heart of the holiday, with a few small gifts, especially for the children. The famous nativity figures made in Naples were all over that city during the season, depicting not only the familiar cast of characters in Bethlehem but also hundreds of folk characters, laborers, artisans, ordinary people from a bygone age, reminding people that the Good News was for everybody. People love the famous Rockefeller Center tree in New York City, but there's a less famous tree in the Metropolitan Museum of Art called the "angel tree." Those same Neopolitan folk figurines surround a towering tree with ranks of beautifully rendered angels descending to an earthy scene of people working and laughing and living life -- and in their midst a rude stable where a Babe is born and honored.
Quiet music fills the big hall and the museum-goers seem to naturally slow down and get a little quiet as they admire the beautiful scene .

     May your holidays be filled with some quiet beauty, some loving family and friends, a good meal or two, and perhaps a few moments to recall things you're grateful for. If there's a lonely person you can visit or call, or a family in need you can reach out to, or a military member overseas you can contact, this is a great season to get out of oneself and let someone know that they're cared for. That will make the season brighter for them and for you. Happy holidays.